For many reasons 2024 has been one of the toughest I've faced in my life. A huge amount of loss and change.
And yet, it is also becoming a year that I feel the most confident and content with what I do have.
Things I'm trying to practice to help continue walking through grief.
When you feel the sadness, acknowledge it. Ride the wave. The helpful advice I received when navigating multiple losses at once was mark time out for each thing separately. "In this 15 minutes to an hour, I'll grieve this and later in the day I'll give myself the same to grieve that".
Allow the sadness to point you to the good moments you had. Learn to say thank you for those moments. Simply marking those moments or photos in a note on your phone or a notebook as a means of gratitude is a proven way to help you through low moments. It won't remove the sadness, but it helps reframe it. You are sad, because what you had was good, and those good moments will help you ride the wave.
Practice "healthy selfishness". Some of the loss came because I was focused on living for others to the extent I lost sight of myself. Find something that gives you purpose and gives you independence. For me it is running or climbing mountains. It is also looking ahead to do something that challenges you in terms of learning. For me that took me to coaching via a short stint supporting friends in their new business venture, Cornerstone Safeguarding.
Reach out to folk. It is scary being vulnerable, especially if you've had your vulnerability used against you. If you don't have the privilege of close relationships for any reason, reach out to a professional. Many workplaces will have packages that give a handful of free counselling sessions - make the most of them. I was fortunate to have a clinical supervisor who became a coach through many of the sessions, walking me through the difficult stuff and helping me with small goals to move towards a brighter future. It would be my privilege to chat with you and see how coaching might support you.
Find moments in your day that make you happy. For me this morning, it was going for a run with my friends' dog. Hence the picture above. This weekend it was light breaking through the grey on the beach (pic below).
Today may have its sadness but there will be moments of beauty, no matter how small, that make it worth living.
If any of this has triggered something in you and you need someone to talk to, please feel free to message me and I’ll be ready to listen.
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